Yo' Has Disappeared

All the world holds its breath!

Significant news stories from all over:

From the Wickenburg (AZ) Daily Snake, Sep 20, 2002 - "The editor of azcountrydoc.com, a locally owned and produced web-site devoted to publicizing controversial healthcare issues, reported this week the disappearance of one of his "essential staff members" (his words). The essential item in question is one 'Yo'Doc', who appears to be (on paper anyway) (oops! no paper in cyberspace, is there?) some sort of native healer or consultant to the aforementioned editor of this widely known but inadequately appreciated site. Police are investigating the incident, although several members of the local town council indicated the boys in blue could spend their time better by identifying and arresting perpetrators of a serious local offense, to wit, operating a horse while under the influence of Roy Rogers (a second degree misdemeanor under the City Code, Section VII, Number 927)."

Philadelphia Enquirer, Sep 20, 2002 - "One of the nation's best loved native consultants, the semi-immortal Yo'Doc, has gone missing. Reports are still incomplete, but the known facts are: 1) On the street corner where he usually conducts his affairs, painted with a giant magic marker, there is a large red "X" and the cryptic comment, "He's gone!" 2) No person or agency has yet claimed responsibility for this (apparent) dastardly abduction. 3) Local police appear to be singularly disinterested in the case ('We got better things to do with our resources than chasing this down - our streets are full of bigger problems - like unlawful operation of horses.')
"This paper, dedicated to the truth in all of its many forms, will continue to pursue the story."

New York Times, Sep 21, 2002 - "The strange case of the disappearance of the beloved Yo'Doc, which has captured the hearts of more than a few readers, took a decidedly sinister twist today, when the editor of the web-site, azcountrydoc.com, told police that he had received a threatening note from the apparent kidnappers. Speaking on condition of anonymity, a representative of the local police force stated emphatically that all of his department's resources were exhausted as a result of an overwhelming incidence of what he called the 'Roy Rogers Syndrome' (whatever that is), and they had neither the time nor the energy to track down 'odd-ball incidents' such as this one.

"Although disappointed by law-enforcement's laissez faire attitude about Yo'Doc's disappearance, we will continue to hope for some good news, and beg the forbearance of the perpetrators of this crime, ie, please don't do anything bad to Yo'!"

AARP Bulletin, Sep 22, 2002 - "A group calling itself Seniors For Free Treatment (acronym 'SIFT') contacted this publication yesterday claiming responsibility for the abduction of one 'Yo'Doc', apparently a native consultant and healer (and part-time columnist for azcountrydoc.com, a web-site which appears to have it in for this organization). In a note delivered by a what looked like a nonagenarian on a skateboard (who then vanished into the pedestrian traffic of our large city), SIFT indicated they were 'acting in the best interests of seniors everywhere' by removing this 'menace'. No ransom demand accompanied the note, however there was a brief reference to 'yellow journalism' which our staff had difficulty understanding."

Congressional Record, Sep 23, 2002 - In an emotional speech given before a semi-packed Senate chamber (8 members plus 275 aides and hangers-on), Sen Edward Kennedy, (D) Mass., gave his opinion on a subject which has had the nation glued to CNN for news updates, that is, the abduction of the noted healer and consultant, Yo'Doc, a 'sometime resident' of Wickenburg, AZ and vociferous critic of Beltway shenanigans (particularly those relating to healthcare 'fixes' proposed by members of this august body). Sen. Kennedy's entire speech was: "Good riddahnce!"

Los Angeles Herald Examiner, Sep 23, 2002 - "California and the world rejoiced today when it was learned that negotiations to secure the release of the beloved native consultant, Yo'Doc, had been successful, and that he was being returned to his street corner in a place called 'Wickenburg' (?) somewhere in Arizona. Local law enforcement officials, speaking on condition of anonymity, said they were 'supremely disinterested' in this event, and advised our reportorial staff to get lost (using slightly more colorful terms). One reporter noted that Yo' appeared unharmed, but was 'subdued', perhaps because of the large placard he was carrying, which read, ' Beneath this sign is located the world's biggest nincompoop, who hereby promises never again to say a bad word about AARP, its policies or members. Or Ted Kennedy, either!' and on the reverse side, 'Kick me!'

"The editor of azcountrydoc.com, where Yo'Doc's material is occasionally published, had a comment: ' I'll believe it when Yo' stops delivering us his messages, which, incidentally, contain material completely reviewed by us prior to publication, and with which we are in full agreement.' Left unspoken was his charmingly child-like, 'So there!' "

(The excerpts from numerous other publications are too lengthy to record here. We appreciate all of the support given us during this terrible time by fellow members of the fourth estate. Ed. of azcountrydoc.com)