The Disease of Kings (and Shamans)

Yo visits the Naturefood Store

Last week I encountered Yo'Doc in the health food store (I had gone there only to check out some product claims, not to make a purchase!), and the following ensued:

Dr Tom: Yo'! How nice to see you out and around again. You've been kinda scarce lately.

Yo': Scarce like Seldom Seen Smith. Been laid up with the gout. Hurt like a suh- suh- , hmm, like the dickens. You ever have that?

DT: Gout? Nah, not in my family either. Guess we always ate properly, right?

Yo': I always eat right, and so did my family. Not much meat, never had a lot of red wine, no aged cheese, and we always gave the kidneys to the dogs. That other soft squishy thing in the belly, too, the pancreas. Dogs got that. Well, there was one time when one of the more adventurous cooks took some and made a kind of spread with it. Put it on some dried cactus pads (no spines, of course!), cut little bitty triangles and served it at one of the ceremonial dances. Lots of the dancers had a taste.

DT: What happened? Anyone come back for seconds?

Yo': Couldn't say for sure. All of 'em seemed to just disappear into the night and didn't show up again until the next day. Somebody said they looked sort of "wasted", but I never talked to them about it. They did seem to have a common goal that day, like maybe they wanted to offer their kudos to the cook.

DT: Kudos?

Yo': Whatever it is they do with billy clubs, makes that sound "kudo', kudo',kudo'". Very loud. Too bad they couldn't find the cook, though. I recall that he was quite the fast runner.

DT: Interesting. By the way, what are you doing in this place?

Yo': Andy Weil will be here for a book signing. I want to get his autograph. Incidentally, gout has always been called "the disease of kings", you know that?

DT: So? Then you're the exception that proves the rule?

(Interview ends here. Loud noise on tape recorder, can't make out details.)