Is It OK To Fidget In Church?

Sammy (or Susie), Stop Squirming!

Breaking News! October, 2005. The results of a study done by Mayo Clinic doctors are now revealed. People who fidget a lot don't get as fat as those who sit quietly.

In the late 1960s, a couple of curious nutritionists (or maybe they were doctors - who can remember such history?) set up an observational study at a girls' summer camp. The purpose was to see what made some kids skinny and some fat.

Cameras recorded all public aspects of the girls' waking lives. At meal times, the test subjects were allowed to choose food cafeteria style, and their consumption was carefully tracked by the "garbage can method". What they ate and how much they ate was monitored by noting the leftovers on the trays.

During the day, a variety of activities were available, from field games and swimming to quiet time and reading. Cameras continued recording the subjects' behavior during these periods.

The results? First, during the time of the camp, all of the girls' food intake was found to be equal. Those who were overweight didn't eat more than their slim counterparts.

Second, in all things caught on camera, it was seen that the skinny girls were never "still". Whether they were playing a game or simply sitting and reading, their arms and legs and hands and feet were always doing something. At similar times, their heavier friends were very conservative in their motions and were able to sit or play with a minimum of effort.

My recollection is that this study was published in the Journal of The American Medical Association with its conclusion:: Girls Who Fidget Don't Get Fat.

The Mayo observations were done using more sophisticated measuring techniques, proving that science has indeed advanced somewhat during the last forty-five years. It also included one other teeny little feature which wasn't available in the 1960s. Modern genetic testing methods revealed that there is a fidgeting gene, thus paving the way to gene therapy for obesity.

It isn't likely that in 2005 someone is going to do a study aimed at proving the germ theory of infectious disease, but we do seem to spend a lot of time and money proving things already known to be true.

With apologies to the person who said it first, "Those who forget the lessons of the past are bound to make the same mistakes", here it is paraphrased. "Those who forget the lessons of the past haven't spent enough time in the library."