Yo' in the Pediatric Clinic

Suffer the little children indeed!

Nowhere in medicine do our heartstrings get plucked as they do in the pediatric clinic. Ah, the heart-warming sights we encounter.

Seeing all those little shavers bustling about doing their specific jobs: tugging at some sensitive part of mother's anatomy, caressing auntie's new dress with their wee runny noses, and entertaining the whole group with joyous and deafening cries. It takes one back, albeit in leg irons and blindfolded. In his career as a shaman and healer, Yo'Doc has dealt with the younger set, and he informs us that some of his most memorable times have occurred in that milieu. One of them is recorded here for you to judge. Was it fun or did it just seem that way a whole lot later?

Into Yo's modest office one day strode Mrs. K with her 5 year old Melissa. After a short wait (it was a slow day), they were ushered to an exam room where Yo' awaited them. Mrs. K appeared to be addressing most of the Western Hemisphere as she strode in, and our mini tape-recorder captured her monologue.

Mrs. K: Come along Melissa it's our time, my goodness but it didn't seem like a very long wait, I wonder if this doctor is any good, we always have to wait at least one hour at most other places we've been, and stop pulling at your lip like that, it's going to get stuck out and you'll never have a boyfriend much less get married, I swear child you'll make a gray haired old woman out of me at just thirty five or so, now remember when the doctor asks you what's wrong you just speak up and tell him like we practiced, 'member hon'? you just go like, "my momma thinks I'm not right in the head on account of because I go around all day singing the Barney song and all", and then the nice doctor will examine you and tell us what's wrong, or maybe right, I don't know which, darn, where's my purse, did you pick it up when we left the waiting room? that shifty-eyed woman with the three bratty kids was looking at us kind of funny, oh me, I'll just bet you she took it and is long gone by now, NURSE OH NURSE WE NEED SOME HELP HERE, oops, well deary me, there it is hanging right there on my shoulder where it belongs ha ha isn't that a screamer now here we are and are you the doctor you certainly don't look much like a doctor to me, where's your stetho-thingy and you don't even have any of those little sticks in your pocket Melissa Hermione Sue Belinda K will you stop yanking that lip, child, doctor did you ever see such a thing before?, it's like she's in love with the silly thing, can't seem to let it alone STOP IT THIS MINUTE I SAID, oh phooey, it's your funeral missy and I will not let the subject come up again not once you hear me? doctor Yo', do you have a cure for the lip tug?, she most certainly did not get it from my side of the family but I don't know about that bunch of her father's, you know I'll bet it was his sister, the one they used to call Popcorn Scooper, that's where it came from, I told you Melissa that there was something off about that family, now darn it, I can't seem to remember why we're here, could I have a drink of water please, my throat's all dry and that's the truth, goodness it's noisy in here, is it this way all the time? I mean how do you ever get anything done?

Yo': Biscuits get done, people get finished which we are right now. Melissa, here's a nice sucker, put that in your mouth instead of pulling on your lip. Next patient, please!