Woops! Is Never Enough

We bare our breast and confess to a couple of rare errors.

Having inadvertently published last week erroneous and incomplete material on our web site, our sincere regrets go out to the Wally Wartnagels.

So to Wally and Wilma ("Willy"), we extend the hand of remorse, and apologize for the following misstatements or omissions:

1. In the section devoted to animal therapy, we identified the patient's pursuer as a gorilla. The truth is that there was a man, Wally and Willy's son, Wesley in a gorilla suit doing the chasing.

2. There was no "embracing" after the catch. Sorry about that one Wes!

3. We failed to recognize the many other forms of animal therapy used by the Wartnagels in their dedication to behavior modification. Other modalities at their command are: A) Snapping turtles in the cookie jar for diet-fudgers. B) Bedroom rattlesnakes to cure sleepwalking. C) Porcupine families for the overly agressive, in-your-face executive. D) Billy-goats employed in overcoming intolerance. E) Pig watching for obsessive compulsive disorder. There are many others, some in the planning stage, such as boa constrictor therapy for uncontrollable huggers. One of the glitches still to be worked out is a tendency for the therapy to over-dose spontaneously, so to speak.

4. Our article made no mention of the Wartnagel's "scholarship program" for unwanted Rottweilers and Dobermans. Some of their best responses are due to the actions of these reclaimed specimens. You go for it, boys!

5. Wilma's (oops, Willy's) cooking skills weren't emphasized adequately. She does a mean haggis, and her turnip and okra dip is to die for!

6. Next, and this is one over which we had to do a bit of head scratching. Some of the wire services really lost it when they picked up our story. The most egregious of their mistakes was in referring to Wally W. as "Wolfley Warmnavel." Heaven knows how they came up with that one. (To be perfectly truthful, we fail to see how the Wartnagels could take such umbrage over what seems to us quite a cute little spelling blip.) Anyway, we've arranged for USA Today, the New York Times and the National Enquirer to issue a joint retraction and a correction. Hat's off to the spell-checker!

7. Finally, a blanket apology, recommended by our attorney: "To the Wertsnagel, woops, Wartsnapple, oh oh, what's happening here? Here we go - to the WW Family, we at Yo'Doc.com and all associated entities do hereby apologize for any past and future insults to your business, your animal menagerie, and your relatives here or elsewhere including their potential offspring. Please call off the Dobermans! It won't happen again, we promise.

Doesn't that make you all feel better? We sure do, now understanding fully the old saw, "confession is good for the soul!"