Aging With Or Without Grace

Sometimes it seems like this old life just goes on forever!

(Editor's Note: Having nothing more pressing for the afternoon, we decided to visit our native consultant and noted healer Yo'Doc and ask for some answers, of which he usually has many. Our questions, and his responses, are below.)

Ed: Yo', there has been a lot of talk lately about science having the ability to extend one's life up to about 150 years. What do you think about that?

Yo': Whooee! 150? Coming from a family of long livers (??), I myself expect to get to around 95 or so, but 150? A whole lot of 150s? I'd say that there won't be enough moisturizing cream to go around, hearing aids will have to be as big as tubas, and the market for false teeth will exhaust the plastics supply.

And think of this: An old geezer, a hundred or so, comes up to your office desk and says, "Got muh grandaddy here for his annual physical. Where you want me to park 'im? I have to go take another nap."

No, I don't like it. Too dang many of us now. Why, it'd be standing room only if nobody ever died.

Ed: So you think "four score and ten" is plenty?

Yo': And then some. Next question?

Ed: Let's hear your take on the topic of cloning. Are you in favor of it or not?

Yo': I like kids, but never could get too worked up about the matrimonial thing. So I could go to the lab, have somebody scrape off a few of my surplus skin cells, and clone up a batch of little tykes for me to enjoy. Four or five ought to do.

Ed: Remember, each child is a big responsibility. And the cost - wow! Five times $150,000 is a big piece of change to get them all up to college age.

Yo': Oh I wouldn't want them all going off to college. In fact, I probably wouldn't even send 'em to any school. If those scientists are smart enough to make reproductions of me, they ought to be able to do the Peter Pan bit, too. You know, stop all of the growing at about ten, and just let them play forever. Never have to go through that teenage stuff.

Ed: That seems very selfish of you, and I'm disappointed that you wouldn't allow your offspring to experience all of life, just like you have.

Yo': Well, Ed, you got a point there, but since all of this has as much substance as smoke, why not let me do a little day-dreaming? Keeps my blood pressure down.

Ed: I understand, and I forgive you. Next question, do you think that we will have a national healthcare system in the US soon?

Yo': We already have one, but it has big holes in it. If you're lucky enough to be 65, or a retired veteran, the federal government has all sorts of goodies for you. And, if you happen to be really poor, some government will look out for you, too. It's the ones in the middle that are in tough shape. Not only are they the only ones working to pay for it all, they are the group with the worst healthcare coverage.

Ed: Then you're in favor of a national program?

Yo': I'm in favor of basic care that would be available to all comers, at very low cost or no cost at all. Then, for those who want more, like hot and cold running consultants at their beck and call, let them pay more for the privilege. The way it is now, the best free care goes to the ones who often could afford to pay something for it, like with a nice supplemental insurance policy.

Ed: But that's a two-tiered system. Doesn't that discriminate against the not-so-well-off?

Yo': To those on the far left of the political spectrum, I suppose that might be true. But look at it this way. Right now, lots of us have no coverage at all, and that seems to me to discriminate a bit against the have-nots.

Ed: Are you willing to stick out your neck and favor this type program through your wide-spread influence with the populace?

Yo': Everyone I know has already heard me before. It's up to you to spread the word.

Ed: Hmm. That's what I call reverse english - you telling me what to do.

Yo': Call it whatever you want. Just get with it and let the whole world know what we think!

Ed: Maybe I can start a phone 'tree'.